Calling Type A Personalities!

Not only am I a recovering attorney, I am a recovering ‘Type A’ personality.  Type A’s are known to be impatient, rushed, goal-oriented, worried, aggressive, demanding, competitive, extremely ambitious and perfectionists.  Sound like a lot to deal with?  Try living in that skin, and you will quickly understand (as Type A’s need to understand everything in lickety-split, lightning speed time) that not only is it a lot for a Type A to deal with, but for those who encounter a Type A personality.

Trust me, I did not strive to be Type A, with a hyper-active mind and schedule.  I was conditioned by my family, my peers, my teachers and my society to always strive for more, to be the best and be perfect.  What a cross to bear! Eventually that conditioning became as automatic a response, as it was for Pavlov’s dog to fetch food at the sound of a bell.

I’ve been learning so much about my mind and brain in the last two years that I now understand how I have been conditioned, what my conditionings were and the physiological effects of such conditionings.  I now understand that what ‘wires together, fires together’ in the brain, with its opposite true as well.  And though my desire to get rid of some of these annoying tendencies (what wired together) is high, the actual eradication or diminishment of them is not on par with my desires, because what didn’t fire, didn’t wire in my brain.

Meditation has taught me to withdraw from the senses and focus my mind.   Now, I clearly see how my senses and satisfying my senses dissipates my attention away from the present moment.   I also understand that my mind needs to be trained to focus.  A simple exercise I like to use is counting my breath backward from a high number until I can get my mind to cooperate and stay in the countdown.  I practice this technique when I am riding the subway,  waiting in line,  at the doctor’s office or when I feel anxious.  When the mind is concentrated, the mind is relaxed and can receive.  Type A’s have very active minds, yet the dissipation of focus creates a leakage of vital subtle energies in the body, which tends to cause disease in the  body.

The process of recovery is a slow long haul, taking years to un-do what has been wound up, but it is worth it, as both the physical and mental health benefits are tremendous, and I now feel that I have many more ‘tools in my toolbox’ to empower myself and my life.   If you decide to try meditation, find a teacher that you connect with, as the teacher has almost as much to do with absorption as the techniques themselves.

What is in the mind, is in the body and vice-versa.  As most great philosophers have said, to know thyself is true wisdom, to know thyself is to be whole and of health.  That is the greatest gift you can give yourself, your true Self (not the ‘poor me’ or ‘great me’ ego self). And in turn, you give that gift back to the world, a priceless commodity, that no one other than your true individual Self can give.

Namaste!

 

 

Yoga Nidra Training Basics

Full Moon

Discover how to teach the system of Yoga Nidra, a Tantric-based technique, which induces complete mental, physical and emotionalrelaxation. In this workshop, you will be introduced to the practice, history and methodology of Yoga Nidra, ‘The Art of Conscious Relaxation’, in which one hovers between sleep and wakefulness. In this state, one is able to access the subconscious and unconscious dimensions of mind to promote healing and transcend the conditioned personality.

Jan. 24, Friday, 6-9 pm
Pure West

Rejection

Many of us take rejection poorly: rejection by a lover, friend, employer or by any other.  Why is that?  In my experiences, it is because rejection translates into, “Something is inherently wrong with me, my opinions or my work, and therefore, I am not good enough.”

I often took rejection poorly, because  I put more value in the person or entity that rejected me-more value than I put on myself.  I was a people-pleaser, lacking confidence of my own, and wanted people to accept me.  I felt that something was inherently wrong with me-that I wasn’t perfect enough to be wanted or received.  Sometimes, that may have been true for those observing me-an ex-lover, co-worker, friend or family member.  I viewed rejection as a permanent obstacle, and would either give up or go to desperate measures with dire consequences to get the desired goal, whether it be a person, object or situation.

In painfully examining myself after rejection, I now see that rejection is often a useful tool to  affirm that a harmonious relationship is not possible.  Other times, I see that rejection allows me to refine myself, ideas or projects and try again or elsewhere.  Or, perhaps rejection is an indication that something is not quite right, to help me to ‘wake up and smell the double espresso.’   I am finally learning to see the wisdom in rejection, rather than hurt and/or shame.

Rejection helped me to understand that I cannot control every one of life’s circumstances, as much as my upbringing made me feel that control was possible.   Rejection has helped me to embrace change as inevitable, and become alchemical, taking advantage of the quantum world-that an infinite amount of possibilities exists in any moment.

How one handles rejection is often indicative of the beliefs one holds.  Often, a belief of pleasing others or being perfect, or feelings of abandonment provide a solid foundation for feeling unworthy, unlovable or unacceptable.   Feelings of rejection are likely deeply seeded from developmental years.  It could be due to feelings of abandonment, neglect, guilt, shame, embarrassment, not being loved or accepted, or viewed as imperfect or ‘wrong’.  If we see how our families, peers and environments shaped our internal views, we can also understand that these conditionings are not true, but a perspective.

Imagine if you could feel that rejection is a good thing, a wake-up call, or possess a mature understanding that balance could not be achieved.   Believe in you and your higher power.  Walk your path with courage fearlessly, and never doubt your self-worth.  Sometimes, we need to feel rejection by the others to fully embrace ourselves, our journeys and our accomplishments unconditionally.   You are your best ally.  Don’t reject yourself!

Please share your comments below,  or share post with a friend who might be able to relate.