Not only am I a recovering attorney, I am a recovering ‘Type A’ personality. Type A’s are known to be impatient, rushed, goal-oriented, worried, aggressive, demanding, competitive, extremely ambitious and perfectionists. Sound like a lot to deal with? Try living in that skin, and you will quickly understand (as Type A’s need to understand everything in lickety-split, lightning speed time) that not only is it a lot for a Type A to deal with, but for those who encounter a Type A personality.
Trust me, I did not strive to be Type A, with a hyper-active mind and schedule. I was conditioned by my family, my peers, my teachers and my society to always strive for more, to be the best and be perfect. What a cross to bear! Eventually that conditioning became as automatic a response, as it was for Pavlov’s dog to fetch food at the sound of a bell.
I’ve been learning so much about my mind and brain in the last two years that I now understand how I have been conditioned, what my conditionings were and the physiological effects of such conditionings. I now understand that what ‘wires together, fires together’ in the brain, with its opposite true as well. And though my desire to get rid of some of these annoying tendencies (what wired together) is high, the actual eradication or diminishment of them is not on par with my desires, because what didn’t fire, didn’t wire in my brain.
Meditation has taught me to withdraw from the senses and focus my mind. Now, I clearly see how my senses and satisfying my senses dissipates my attention away from the present moment. I also understand that my mind needs to be trained to focus. A simple exercise I like to use is counting my breath backward from a high number until I can get my mind to cooperate and stay in the countdown. I practice this technique when I am riding the subway, waiting in line, at the doctor’s office or when I feel anxious. When the mind is concentrated, the mind is relaxed and can receive. Type A’s have very active minds, yet the dissipation of focus creates a leakage of vital subtle energies in the body, which tends to cause disease in the body.
The process of recovery is a slow long haul, taking years to un-do what has been wound up, but it is worth it, as both the physical and mental health benefits are tremendous, and I now feel that I have many more ‘tools in my toolbox’ to empower myself and my life. If you decide to try meditation, find a teacher that you connect with, as the teacher has almost as much to do with absorption as the techniques themselves.
What is in the mind, is in the body and vice-versa. As most great philosophers have said, to know thyself is true wisdom, to know thyself is to be whole and of health. That is the greatest gift you can give yourself, your true Self (not the ‘poor me’ or ‘great me’ ego self). And in turn, you give that gift back to the world, a priceless commodity, that no one other than your true individual Self can give.
Namaste!