I spent many nights of despair in my mid-thirties to early forties wondering who I was supposed to model myself after. After 10 years, I’d left the practice of law, and had no husband, boyfriend or children, and not one clue what a woman of my ilk was to do with my life.  Most women my age thought that the ‘right’ guy or new professional career would do the trick, but it just didn’t feel right to me. My mother was a stay-at-home mom most of my life, without her own career, and without her own identity in the family.  She was my father’s wife and her children’s mother, and that was a role she relished and felt destined for. My older sister is introverted and ‘by-the-book’, and I am an extrovert and ‘out-of-the-box’, and so to model myself after my sister would be untrue to my individual self. Even when I became a lawyer, the more experienced women in the profession (less than 20% of all lawyers), were often aggressive, opinionated and either on the offensive or defensive, depending on what type of law that they practiced-myself included.  Many of these women struggled to balance their careers, children, spouses and lifestyles, often compromising something, usually their mental health, in the process.

I yearned to find a strong female role model, one who could stand firm in her beliefs and values with grace, courage and unwavering confidence, even if they were against the grain of society, or rather, especially if they went against the grain, which is where I was headed. It was only after I left the profession of law and ‘Corporate America’, and became a yoga instructor, that I started to find ‘soft’ yet ‘strong’ women who I could model myself after. One in particular, a diabetic Indian woman in her fifties started an ashram in her youth to receive and ‘hug’ people because, yes, many are deprived of basic human touch. Her name is Amma, which translates to ‘Mother’ in Hindi. Amma even embraced those considered ‘untouchable’ in her own society, a huge social taboo. Amma’s courage, presence and energy are based in love, tolerance and compassion for all. She holds her power with grace, and without greed, narcissism or ego-unlikely traits amongst most leaders who fall prey to greed, power and control. As a result of hugging people, Amma has raised and distributed millions of dollars to build hospitals, pension plans, educational institutions, and training centers, and to provide tsunami and hurricane relief, and much more. Her vision for the world impressed me deeply, as did Amma herself, one in which men and women respect each other and progress together; ‘like two wings of a bird, balanced and of equal value’. It is this attitude of love and harmony that society and leaders could use more of in order to promote a more balanced, unified world, which encourages female empowerment and grace.

Thank you, and Brava Amma!  So, who is your female role model?