Stress-Can You Relate?

Stress, according to Eastern philosopher and yogi, Swami Satyananda Swaraswati, can be defined in the following formula:

Stress=the number of stressful situations/ability to cope

Formulaically speaking, one can either, reduce the number of stressful situations, which requires some lifestyle changes or one can increase the ability to cope, to reduce stress.

In order to be able to manage one’s emotions and stress, an understanding of how stress affects the physical body is pivotal to its management.

When a negative or limiting thought enters the mind, the brain matches a chemical to the emotion experienced.  For example, if one believes that there is never enough time in the day, this thought produces an emotion, perhaps anxiety, and produces a threat to subjective well-being. Once the brain identifies a situation to be a threat or a danger (whether objective or subjective), the hypothalamus of the brain signals the pituitary gland, which signals the production of cortisol.

Cortisol is an important stressor response when the there is an actual danger because it increases blood sugar and blood pressure, to help escape the danger.   However, when there is no actual threat, but a ‘perceived’ threat, the brain creates a neural and nervous system response.  If the stress is perceived repeatedly, the firing neurons wire together in the brain to create a neural pathway that trigger anytime a similar situation is perceived, whether it be based in reality or not. Once a neural pathway is wired, it fires in that manner, creating an involuntary autonomic stress response, which over time, wreaks physical and mental havoc.

The body’s stress response transports blood away from the internal organs and out to the limbs to prepare the body for ‘fight’ or ‘flee’.  Blood drains from the frontal portion of the brain, which damages clear thinking and reason.  Overtime, if this response is chronic, then the body’s internal systems begin to malfunction and manifest as disease in the physical and mental bodies.   Raised levels of cortisol for prolonged periods weaken the immune system and the organs, cause cells to mutate or die, kick-start nervous, circulatory and inflammatory responses, and impair memory and cognitive ability. People with chronic stress also suffer from insomnia, depression, anxiety, autoimmune and digestive disorders, migraine and tension headaches, asthma and ulcers.

How one reacts to one’s environment is crucial to managing stress.  Most of us have been conditioned to react to stress based upon past experiences as well as our observing, then absorbing, how those around us reacted to stress.  We then become wired in this way, much without our consent or knowledge until the age of about 7.  In past years, it was believed that these reactions were ‘hard-wired’ by our genes, as were certain diseases thought to be ‘hard-wired’.  However, a relatively new science, ‘epigenetics’ now demonstrates that we are not ‘hard-wired’.  Epigenetics tells us that a majority of a gene is affected by how we react to our environment.  Therefore, if we change or manage the reactions, and our perceptions of events, we can change the genome, our cellular structure, our health and the future.  Epigenetics helps us to understand that we are not powerless over our circumstances and our bodies, and that we can change our reactions, and thereby, our reality.  And quantum physics tells us that infinite possibilities exist, but it depends on the observer’s posturing that affects the perspective and the outcome.

So what does that mean?  It means there are an infinite number of possibilities that can happen in any given moment for you to choose you you react, and thereby affect the outcome of not just the external world, but the internal world as well.

Be open, not limited, in how you manage your stress.  It may very well, save your life.

Stay tuned for more tips on how to manage your stress, and take your power back!

 

 

Expectations-Disappointments Waiting to Happen

I once heard that an expectation is a disappointment waiting to happen.  And in my experience, this proves to be true more than I prefer.  For example, if  I expect the weather to be good for a day at the beach, and it doesn’t happen, I get disappointed.  I expect to receive a note  or word of thanks when I extend myself to another, offering resources, information or gifts, yet when I don’t, I am disappointed, because it signals to me that my efforts or gifts are not valued.   I expected that the man I was in love with once was available, because that’s how he presented himself to be, but when I found out he was not, I expected him to be contrite and ask forgiveness, but he didn’t, making me angry and then-some.

As such, I have come to realize the value of the statement,  that expectations are disappointments waiting to happen.  One evening, my friend, Bryan asked me if I were ‘high-maintenance’.   I replied, ‘No, I am not.  I have high expectations though.’  Bryan responded, ‘That’s worse.  The world is an imperfect place, Karen.  The world is an imperfect place.’  His words rang in my ears for days, then months, now years.  His words seeped deep into my psyche because they represented the complete opposite of what I had been raised to be, which was near-perfect.   My parents had high expectations of me, and if I did not meet them, it was just not acceptable, and their disappointment, disapproval, anger or frustration was clearly expressed, which motivated me to do what they ‘expected’ of me.  I rebelled for a time, but it was a no-win situation, because the punishment was stronger than the expectation itself, and I relented in trying to ignore or overlook their expectations of me.

Because I had been conditioned with expectations of doing the ‘right’ thing, or ‘being perfect’ or ‘precise’, I treated others in this same way. Until, Bryan’s words and my experiences melded together and mutated into a very big life lesson.  Giving up expectations is one of the hardest things to do, but when it is done, it is one of the most liberating experiences ever.    I don’t think it’s humanly possible to extract all expectations from one’s personality, however, if they are minimized, then so is the pain, anger and disappointment of not getting what you expected.  It also puts some of the burden back on myself to take full responsibility to create my own well-being and happiness.  I cannot expect another to do it for me, especially as I am very capable.  Instead of ‘expecting’ things from myself, I create now.  I tap into my potential and do what I can do to create an experience for myself that fulfills and sustains me, which sometimes requires resolution or compromised-based thinking.  If I meet with challenges and obstacles along the way, I try not to put any expectations into removing them, but I fill myself with the work of overcoming them, the best I know how.  After all, the word is an imperfect place, and in this acceptance, I diminish expectations and embrace my power to create, which thereby increases my inner happiness and peace.

What expectations, big or small, can you work on letting go of today?   Please share!