I arrived, with my full-fare Metrocard, at the new “Select” New York City MTA bus stop near my apartment on Second Avenue in the 80’s.  I held a rather large box with both of my arms and hands, carrying a 52′ ceiling fan to return to Home Depot.   A “Select” bus happened to be at the stop but it’s doors were closed.   It was still at its angled position near the curb to pick up passengers. There was a red light.  About a dozen and a half were on the bus.  I mouthed aloud to the driver my desire to take the bus, but he wouldn’t open the door, and instead mouthed something back to me.  Words came from my mouth again but it’s as if I were at the airport, and the plane doors had shut.  We all know what that means.  No go. The driver wouldn’t open the doors or speak to me intelligibly.  The light turned green.  The bus proceeded down Second Avenue.  I had been “De-Selected”.

I could feel the heat rush into my cheeks.  A perfect moment had just passed.  I couldn’t let go of my anger towards the bus driver as I looked north on Second Avenue to see that there were no other MTA buses yet in sight. Of course, I tried for a few minutes to understand the mentality of it all.

The box was getting heavier and so I placed it down on the sidewalk and sat.   There happened to be a sliver of Sun that was not yet obscured by a high rise building.  I reminded myself of a yogi teaching-nothing is by chance, enjoy the moment as if you asked for it.  So I let the sun fill me with Vitamin D as I felt the cool breeze on my cheeks, sitting atop the box. When the next bus arrived about 10 minutes later, the driver was genial and the bus near-empty.   Heaven.

On my bus ride home, a recorded announcement came on saying (approximately), “It is against New York State Law to Assault Your Bus Driver. Anyone who does will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.” Seriously?  New Yorkers need a reminder not to assault the bus driver? Yes, world, New Yorkers have this much stress. Not many of us can pull up a box and sit in the sun, waiting patiently for the next bus, when we could have had a smooth ride moments before.  So, it seems, the alternative is to ‘whack’ the driver.

Though it may seem trivial, it is not. Mass transit is how most of the millions of New Yorkers commute.  If the commute is not pleasant, millions are affected. Daily.  I always tell my classes, workshops and privates, that we cannot control the others, but we can control ourselves.   Mass transit is not going to change. It’s unionized and unpredictable in service and courteousness, but we don’t have to succumb to the pressures of the commute.  We have choices. Make a choice that fits you.  Sometimes, I focus by counting my breath backward, or, bringing a magazine to read. Now, I bike when I can. When I practiced law, I walked 2 1/2 miles from the office to my apartment.  I come up with alternative ways to make my commute more pleasant, so that I don’t become a reason for the buses’ recorded announcement.