An article that I authored on how to manage unhealthy people at work has been published through American Mangement Association, a corporate training and consulting group that provides a variety of educational and management development services to businesses, government agencies and individuals.  Click on the link below to discover tips on how to reduce stress from unhealthy people and take control, especially in the workplace.

http://playbook.amanet.org/maintain-healthy-distance-unhealthy-people/

When there are emotions attached to fears that grip you, your neural pathways spiral, which produces chemicals to match a state and then POW!-anxiety. Blood starts pumping to your limbs, unless you just shut down, and your limbs are engaged for flight or fight.  That’s all well and good if one’s life is actually are being threatened, but when one is trying to go upside down in headstand, or just trying to avoid a gnarly person/situations at work or home, this response does little to provide support or solutions when clear-thinking is needed.  So what to do when one’s life is turned upside down?

1.  Let Go!  Expectations are so easy to disappoint and walk away feeling less than.   Let it go!  You’ll feel better.

2.  Patience.

3.  Align yourself internally.   If you cannot command your ship, with clarity or calmly, then you are relying on plain luck.

4.  Be compassionate and stop punishing yourself.  Positive thinking creates more strategic solutions than negative thinking.    

5.  Steady the course.  If you really want it.  Practice, practice, practice.

Over and over, the same behaviors create the same issues, leading to life experiences which are negative or unhealthy.  No matter how hard some of us try, the patterns are stuck, hard-wired in our brains, and like little automatons we react without wisdom over and again.  Aha, here’s the good news of neuroplasticity:  Your brain is plastic and can be molded, rather than stuck in the same old patterns.  So, why do we keep reacting the same way over and again if we can have the power to change?

1.  Your conscious mind thinks it knows better, but it doesn’t.    It’s the subconscious/unconscious minds that are driving the bus-where habits and the repeated aspects of personality are stored.

2.  To create new patterns, the brain must be in ‘receptive’ mode-slower brain waves-in order for you to receive a new command. (Slower heart rate, breath slower, open mind, skin and muscles relaxed-a meditative state) Then it’s over and over and over again for at least 70 days plus til it automates in your brain.

3.  Many of us are ‘gung-ho’ about making changes and then we slack off, and the ego comes in the back door to say, “Shame on you!”, or “Blame on -Who?”  Self-defeating thoughts then create self-defeating behaviors.

4.  The remote, the wine bottle, the texts, emails, Facebook, Twitter get in the way.  Discipline is lacking, when distractions are abound, and the focus on change is lost.

5.  Changes should be made with full desire to change and in small steps.  Too large a change, and the brain will default back to it’s old ways if overwhelmed.

Ever think you have control over your reactions, and then you just, well, don’t?  Tell me, tell me!

 

 

As the Fall season is upon us, so comes with it a change of weather to cool and dry, hosting a welcoming environment for dry skin, colds, sinus pressure, itchy eyes and scratchy throats. And so, a new school year has begun, migration back to city-living and a flurry of lists and activities are at the tops of most New Yorker’s priorities, with little time for rest, swallowed up by all the activity. In the rush of all things new or changing, many of us tend to ‘fly off’, lose contact with Earth as we spin out of control into a hurricane of emotions, movements, aches and pains. It is important more than ever, to ground down, and stay close to the Earth when we feel our worlds spinning out of control. Warm, moist, heavy foods help to keep us closer to Earth, fortifying the immune system, accented by cinnamon, curry, ghee (clarified butter), honey or tumeric, amongst other warming spices. Especially now, our bodies are stiff and tired, so baths or saunas can help to bring us back to balance both physically and mentally.  Take time to nap, enjoy relaxing music, or take it a notch down from your regular routine.  Many injuries and illnesses tend to spring up in the fall, so take the time nurture yourself, using the Earth’s natural bounties as your tethers.

So, I hugged a tree in Central Park this past week as helicopters spun in circles above me and the NYPD seemingly made traffic worse, while Obama and his motorcade infested my town. I probably could have spent an hour or more clinging to that tree, but in merely seconds, I felt secure, centered and ready to forge ahead, through the chaos of night in New York City.  If you’ve never hugged a tree, go ahead, try it, especially when you’re spinning upward in circles.  Then, you can call me crazy, but until then…let me know what small steps you can take to keep yourself closer to the ground as change abounds around you.